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Tough Love I remember a day that I got into trouble and my mom brought out the belt. She said “This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.” “Yeah, right,” I thought.   It wasn’t until I was a mother that I truly understood what she meant. And it wasn’t when I spanked my own young offspring.... it was years later, when one of them asked for financial help- again.   I had prayed and prayed that God would work things out for my adult child... but in the 11th hour, when it seemed all hope was lost, I caved and transferred the money.   As I clicked the “Send it Now” button on my mobile banking app, I heard that still, small voice speaking... "So you don’t trust me with your children?” Thump. Right up side my head. Ouch. That was the day I learned about tough love and how I was hurting, more than helping, my children by allowing them to depend on me for things they could (and should) be able to provide for themselves.   The next time this adult child asked for money, I felt a peace in
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Why Holding a Grudge is a Bad Idea

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A grudge is a noun.  At least in the way I'm talking about it today.  It's a thing.  Imagine, for a moment that a grudge is shaped like an orange....which makes sense if you're holding a small grudge.  But what if you're holding a really, really big grudge?  It might be shaped more like a boulder.... very heavy and hard to carry.  Not easy to hide, either.  There's a direct relationship between a grudge and un-forgiveness.  We can't profess to have forgiven someone and carry a grudge.  Would you agree?  A grudge is a manifestation of un-forgiveness.  And to live with un-forgiveness is (as many have heard it said, I'm sure) to eat poison and wait for the other person to die.  It's doing more damage to the one holding on to it that the perpetrator. Whomever wronged us has probably all but forgotten about it.  But we diligently hold on to our grudge...carrying it with us where ever we go.  If it's a small grudge, we may be able to stick it in our po
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The Importance of Learning to Dress the Part

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My mom always referred to my wardrobe by the activity the clothes were intended for...play clothes, church clothes, school clothes....so naturally, as I was growing up I added my own references: work clothes, going-out clothes, cleaning-house clothes, fat clothes... not that 'fat' is an activity...maybe I should have called them my eating-too-much clothes.  My first real job was in a department store.  I worked in the Junior Department.  I loved that job.  I made friends with other employees, and the question was always, "What department are you in?"  Shoes.  Dresses.  Lingerie.  Misses.  Men's.   Perhaps a more effective way to organize a store would be by activity.  But today, as I begin a new year with the hopes of fitting back in my "not-eating-at-all clothes" (see yesterday's blog), I was thinking about what to put on this morning.  It occurred to me that the world now lovingly refers to athletic clothing as 'Activewear.'  Which, i
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The Struggle With Contentment

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How do you strike a balance between being content and desiring to move forward?  There seems to be an element of guilt to the list of things I want to accomplish in the new year, but maybe it's just me. It's probably a safe bet that the most common resolution for any new year is to lose weight...no matter how we choose to cleverly 'disguise' our desire to look and feel better. Some people are in denial and refuse to admit they want to lose weight (because that sounds so vain ) so they adopt the socially acceptable language and say they want to "get fit and start living a healthy lifestyle".  (And if they happen to lose weight in the process, then oh well.)  Me, well, I'm not ashamed to admit that my favorite jeans don't fit anymore...and that makes me mad...so to get back in them, I'll do whatever it takes (eat less, move more) to lose enough weight to get my behind in them once again.   So if you ask me if I'm content with my body, the a
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No More Walking Dead

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I have a confession to make.  I watch that zombie show that everyone is talking about with my family. Don't be a hater.  Don't judge...and you don't even have to admit if you watch it, too.  I got 'sucked in' last winter, when the snow was piled sky-high and there was nothing to do.  My twenty-something daughter and her boyfriend watched it regularly and talked about the characters as if they were personal friends.  So my husband was the first to pick the fruit and take a bite.  He logged into our online movie provider and began a weekend-long, commercial-free marathon of that zombie show.  I wasn't interested at first, but once the dishes were done, laundry was folded, floors swept, and any other menial task I could come up with to keep myself busy was finished, I finally resigned to sitting beside him on the couch, with a bag of popcorn in hand, and began learning the plot and the characters.  By the end of the night, I too was hooked. Let's be hon
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Hard to Imagine

It's December 1st.  Wow.  I know it's very cliché...but this year has gone so, so fast!   We've survived Black Friday, Small-Business Saturday, and today is Cyber Monday...tomorrow is Giving Tuesday.  Do you ever feel like every body wants a piece of you?? My dream is just to get back to the meaning of the season.  Love.  That's the reason Jesus Christ put on a robe of flesh and entered this cold, selfish world in the first place.  The love of God.  Jesus brought it to us.  We need to bring it to others. Today's Advent scripture is found in John 1: -5.  The NIV says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2  He was with God in the beginning. 3  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome [ a ] it. Jesus is the Word.  He was spoken into
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Who Are You?

Again, this morning's Bible reading reveals one of those stories that leaves me wondering how I've missed hearing this before...and laughing a little. I'm slowly (very slowly) making my way through the book of Acts (still)...and in chapter 19, verses 15 and 16, I read about this amusing, but painfully 'too-close-to-home' kind of situation. Paul is in the middle of a missionary journey and he is moving and shaking and God is working miracles through him.  So these seven sons of a certain Sceva (a Jewish high priest) decided to try casting a demon out of a man in the name of Jesus, "preached by Paul" (MSG).  The evil spirit talks back to them, saying "I know Jesus and I've heard of Paul, but who are you?"  I'm sure they weren't expecting this reaction....after all, Paul made it look so easy.  They probably stood there, dumb-founded, looking at each other, going, "I don't know...who are we??"  Then the guy jumps on the
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