Why Holding a Grudge is a Bad Idea

A grudge is a noun.  At least in the way I'm talking about it today.  It's a thing.  Imagine, for a moment that a grudge is shaped like an orange....which makes sense if you're holding a small grudge.  But what if you're holding a really, really big grudge?  It might be shaped more like a boulder.... very heavy and hard to carry.  Not easy to hide, either. 

There's a direct relationship between a grudge and un-forgiveness.  We can't profess to have forgiven someone and carry a grudge.  Would you agree?  A grudge is a manifestation of un-forgiveness.  And to live with un-forgiveness is (as many have heard it said, I'm sure) to eat poison and wait for the other person to die.  It's doing more damage to the one holding on to it that the perpetrator.

Whomever wronged us has probably all but forgotten about it.  But we diligently hold on to our grudge...carrying it with us where ever we go.  If it's a small grudge, we may be able to stick it in our pocketbook and pretend we don't have it anymore - but it may fester and start to stink...or it may grow to the point that we can't hide it anymore.

Something came to me today, while doing my Bible study... Beth Moore said that carrying a grudge keeps us in bondage to the other person.  It keeps us close to them - because we can't let it go! 

I immediately had a visual...of this crazy t-shirt my older brother had back in the late, late '70's or early '80's.  One of those cool shirts with a big, shimmering iron-on type transfers...you know the one's that started to peel off after your mom put them in the dryer too many times...  His t-shirt had the lyrics to a song that very popular at the time.  It was by the Bellamy Brothers (I only know this now because of Google!) and while the lyrics seemed to be (at least to my young mind) very figurative.... it occurred to me many years later that they likely intended the literal meaning... "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" 

I always thought they were asking that if they said such a thing, "Hey baby! You've got a beautiful body," would the woman 'hold it against them' as in be upset and hold a grudge towards them, think that they were rude, crude men.... when in reality, they were asking if she would literally come close enough to hold her beautiful body against (next to) him!  Maybe this proves that I grew up very naïve, but hopefully I'm not the only one who had an epiphany after hearing this song on the Oldies station.... hello!?

So as Beth is talking about the reasoning that holding a grudge against someone keeps us close to them, I saw this in a different way.... we have to remain close enough for our orange (or boulder) to touch the other person to literally hold it against them.  *Gasp!*   We are so close that we can't get away from them, so long as we continue to hold this thing against them!!  Imagine that crazy game of Pass the Orange, except now you're playing it with someone you don't even like!

Imagine holding your grudge (your orange) against someone who got promoted over you at work... you would have to mentally chase them around, worrying about everything they are doing so that you can keep your arm extended and keep your orange touching them!  It's exhausting!  You'd always be worried about them - where they are headed, what they're doing, trying desperately to stay close enough to get that orange against them.... so focused on them and holding our little orange grudge against them that we forget to live our own lives!!  Wow.  That's some powerful imagery.

It's time to drop the orange, or the boulder, and let that person off the hook....better yet, give YOURSELF some relief, so you can get back to your own thing - your family, your dreams, your LIFE...whatever you neglected so that you could chase someone around with that silly orange.

Let it go.  Drop it, right where you are at walk away.  Romans 12:19 assures us that God will take care of the ones who have wronged us.  Vengeance is His.  Let Him worry about them.  Be free.

Be blessed!