From Chaos to Joy: A Christmas Hack for Weary Moms

Christmas with seven children is a level of chaos that I find it hard to explain… even all these years later. 

The limited budget versus the mile-long wish lists.

The limited days in a week versus the never-ending schedule of holiday programs, band concerts and classroom parties. 

The limited energy I felt versus the growing list of things that needed to be done.

The limited chances to focus on the true meaning of Christmas versus the overwhelming pressure to make Christmas into something it was never meant to be.

I was exhausted by early October just thinking about it – before the pumpkins were even carved for Halloween.

It seemed like our kids were never satisfied, always wanting something they didn’t get… and the guilt over never feeling like I had done enough was disheartening. We all had expectations that weren’t being met. Christmas didn’t feel “warm and fuzzy” like I thought it would. Honestly, it felt more like a chore.

But somewhere along the way, I found a way to revolutionize Christmas.

We didn’t win the lottery – so it wasn’t about buying more gifts. It was about showing my children the most magical thing about Christmas: the undeniable joy of giving.

Maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was divinely inspired. I don’t remember exactly where the idea came from, but during the holiday season of 1999, I started a tradition that my children cherished for years to come.

For seven weeks, I kept one of the kids home from school for a day. I would take said child shopping with me, then to lunch at a restaurant of their choosing, and then to a movie. Each child received a budget of sixty dollars with which to purchase a ten-dollar gift for each of their siblings. They were also responsible for wrapping the gifts.

This was a gift to me as well. I got to spend much-needed one-on-one time with each of the kids, I had plenty of chances to get my own shopping done, and, through careful observation, I learned what they each wanted for Christmas. As a bonus, I got to see more movies that season than I ever cared to. Interestingly, I never saw the same movie twice. 

As expected, this took loads of pressure off my plate. 

What I hadn’t expected was the way this would change Christmas morning. 

Instead of begging to open their own gifts, the kids couldn’t wait to watch their siblings open the gifts they had purchased for them. The anticipation of watching a gift they had carefully selected and wrapped find its way to the hands of the recipient – and be met with delight and gratitude – was almost more than their young hearts could bear. But no one was more surprised than my husband and me. 

Taking it all in, we shared a knowing smile, feeling like we had, indeed, won the lottery. 

 “… remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” – Acts 20:35 (NIV)