Most Improved Student
Ok. I admit it. I thought I was doing fine. I thought I could handle this with utmost grace and composure. But now...I'm not so sure.
Graduation is just 9 days away. Suddenly I feel a tightness in my throat and a weird pain in my heart (No, I'm not having a heart attack) that I hadn't experienced with the last five children I've watched grow up and graduate. This time is different. Very, very different.
If you know me personally, you probably already understand why I'm feeling this way. But for those of you who don't know, let me enlighten you. My precious, ball-of-fire, amazingly talented, wild, opinionated, mouthy, smart, funny, lovable, hard-working, know-it-all, test-of-my-faith, son, Jacob is about to graduate!! And this, my friends, is a BIG 'OL DEAL!
It all began back in 2000 when he started kindergarten and the teacher insisted that he had ADHD. All I knew is that I had a boy on my hands who freaked out if his socks had a teeny, tiny hole in them and was already telling his older siblings (and me) what to do. He was our little "Tasmanian Devil." Jake was also getting injured every time I tuned around. That boy has been stitched, stapled, glued, casted, and bandaged! I'm sure he was questioned about abuse more than once in the hospital emergency room.
When we moved to our current home in 2002, Jake seemed to be fine. Taking his daily medication to help him 'focus'. But when I took him for his annual check-up between 1st and 2nd grade, Jake hadn't grown one single inch, nor had he gained even one pound. I knew something wasn't right. A boy his age should be growing. I talked to the doctor about Jake's nonexistent appetite. The doctor prescribed more medication to stimulate Jake's appetite, and yet another prescription to help him sleep at night.
After two days of sitting on the floor beside his bed, watching him writhe in pain, crying that his 'brain itched', I had had enough. My son was done taking medication. We would figure out how to cope with whatever behavior and concentration issues he had. The good news is that once he stopped the medication he began to grow (and hasn't stopped since. He's now over 6'4"!)
We struggled through elementary school, arguing over homework and grades...then on to junior high. Because he lacked self-control, he was usually the "last one smiling" and became the go-to-guy for anything that happened in the class room. The other boys bullied him. When Jake spent a day serving an in-school-suspension for some infraction, he came home smiling and reported, "That's the best day I ever had! No one bothered me and I got all my work done!" Again I knew that something was wrong and needed to be changed. The next day I withdrew Jake from public school and set out on another adventure: home school.
Fast forward three years - Jake was refusing to do his school work, sneaking away from home, being defiant and argumentative. By the time he was 15, I couldn't take it any more and enrolled him back in the public school system. They made him start as a freshman instead of a sophomore because the state doesn't recognize home school credits. I feared Jake would be angry over it, but he didn't seem to mind.
So we have struggled through high school -one battle after another. Don't misunderstand, there were many good days too. Jake was a ton of fun, especially when you could get him one-on-one. He was the hardest working child in the family (and still is). He's mechanically gifted and adults enjoy him far more than his peers.
Once Jake started driving, attendance became our biggest struggle. He just didn't see the need to go to school -except to continue to receive his social security benefits from his late father. (A long story for another day). But the money motivated him - and I was desperate enough that I was willing to play that card. (No, I'm not proud of it.)
During the summer between Jake's sophomore and junior year (he was 17 years old) he became a father. Another tough situation...more struggles, more battles, more heartache. It became harder and harder to convince Jake that he needed to finish high school and get a diploma. Now I played the guilt card: your son needs you to finish school.
Somewhere between that day and now, Jake became a man. And this is where I get choked up all over again. He has surprised everyone. He has a good job, working for his father-in-law (oh yeah, Jake got married this spring.) He loves his son more than life itself and has a precious wife who also loves that little boy as if he was her own. (Another long story for another day.) Jake's mother-in-law has been nothing but good to him and for him. Without her, I'm not sure we would be planning for a graduation party.
Against all odds, this boy has risen to the top! No, he's not the class valedictorian, because there are things in real life that are far more important than your high school GPA. But I am positive that he is THE MOST IMPROVED student that school has EVER seen. His improvements didn't come on test scores and projects. They came in life-skills: commitment, attitude, determination, sacrifice and dedication.
I hope someday my son realizes how proud I am of him.
So, to my friends who are mothers of young children (boys, especially) - have hope!
And focus on God's words:
Graduation is just 9 days away. Suddenly I feel a tightness in my throat and a weird pain in my heart (No, I'm not having a heart attack) that I hadn't experienced with the last five children I've watched grow up and graduate. This time is different. Very, very different.
If you know me personally, you probably already understand why I'm feeling this way. But for those of you who don't know, let me enlighten you. My precious, ball-of-fire, amazingly talented, wild, opinionated, mouthy, smart, funny, lovable, hard-working, know-it-all, test-of-my-faith, son, Jacob is about to graduate!! And this, my friends, is a BIG 'OL DEAL!
It all began back in 2000 when he started kindergarten and the teacher insisted that he had ADHD. All I knew is that I had a boy on my hands who freaked out if his socks had a teeny, tiny hole in them and was already telling his older siblings (and me) what to do. He was our little "Tasmanian Devil." Jake was also getting injured every time I tuned around. That boy has been stitched, stapled, glued, casted, and bandaged! I'm sure he was questioned about abuse more than once in the hospital emergency room.
When we moved to our current home in 2002, Jake seemed to be fine. Taking his daily medication to help him 'focus'. But when I took him for his annual check-up between 1st and 2nd grade, Jake hadn't grown one single inch, nor had he gained even one pound. I knew something wasn't right. A boy his age should be growing. I talked to the doctor about Jake's nonexistent appetite. The doctor prescribed more medication to stimulate Jake's appetite, and yet another prescription to help him sleep at night.
After two days of sitting on the floor beside his bed, watching him writhe in pain, crying that his 'brain itched', I had had enough. My son was done taking medication. We would figure out how to cope with whatever behavior and concentration issues he had. The good news is that once he stopped the medication he began to grow (and hasn't stopped since. He's now over 6'4"!)
We struggled through elementary school, arguing over homework and grades...then on to junior high. Because he lacked self-control, he was usually the "last one smiling" and became the go-to-guy for anything that happened in the class room. The other boys bullied him. When Jake spent a day serving an in-school-suspension for some infraction, he came home smiling and reported, "That's the best day I ever had! No one bothered me and I got all my work done!" Again I knew that something was wrong and needed to be changed. The next day I withdrew Jake from public school and set out on another adventure: home school.
Fast forward three years - Jake was refusing to do his school work, sneaking away from home, being defiant and argumentative. By the time he was 15, I couldn't take it any more and enrolled him back in the public school system. They made him start as a freshman instead of a sophomore because the state doesn't recognize home school credits. I feared Jake would be angry over it, but he didn't seem to mind.
So we have struggled through high school -one battle after another. Don't misunderstand, there were many good days too. Jake was a ton of fun, especially when you could get him one-on-one. He was the hardest working child in the family (and still is). He's mechanically gifted and adults enjoy him far more than his peers.
Once Jake started driving, attendance became our biggest struggle. He just didn't see the need to go to school -except to continue to receive his social security benefits from his late father. (A long story for another day). But the money motivated him - and I was desperate enough that I was willing to play that card. (No, I'm not proud of it.)
During the summer between Jake's sophomore and junior year (he was 17 years old) he became a father. Another tough situation...more struggles, more battles, more heartache. It became harder and harder to convince Jake that he needed to finish high school and get a diploma. Now I played the guilt card: your son needs you to finish school.
Somewhere between that day and now, Jake became a man. And this is where I get choked up all over again. He has surprised everyone. He has a good job, working for his father-in-law (oh yeah, Jake got married this spring.) He loves his son more than life itself and has a precious wife who also loves that little boy as if he was her own. (Another long story for another day.) Jake's mother-in-law has been nothing but good to him and for him. Without her, I'm not sure we would be planning for a graduation party.
Against all odds, this boy has risen to the top! No, he's not the class valedictorian, because there are things in real life that are far more important than your high school GPA. But I am positive that he is THE MOST IMPROVED student that school has EVER seen. His improvements didn't come on test scores and projects. They came in life-skills: commitment, attitude, determination, sacrifice and dedication.
I hope someday my son realizes how proud I am of him.
So, to my friends who are mothers of young children (boys, especially) - have hope!
And focus on God's words:
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Living Bible (TLB)17 These troubles and sufferings of ours are, after all, quite small and won’t last very long. Yet this short time of distress will result in God’s richest blessing upon us forever and ever! 18 So we do not look at what we can see right now, the troubles all around us, but we look forward to the joys in heaven which we have not yet seen. The troubles will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.
Translated: This too shall pass. :)
Be blessed.
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