Friends are the Coffee Mugs of Life
God created humans, male and female...and we compliment and complete each other in the most magical ways. But God knew that Eve would need someone to talk to when Adam was being a jerk, so He gave her girlfriends. **disclaimer - this is not exactly scriptural...**
Little girls need other little girls to play dolls with...teenaged girls need other teenaged girls, because quite frankly, no one else 'gets' them. (Not even their adult counterparts.) And women need women friends. Females can relate to each other in a way that males cannot. Check out this hysterical video to see what I'm talking about. When men try to act like US, they look ridiculous.
I can't imagine coming home to find my husband and his BFF floating around in the pool together, floaties tethered so that they don't miss a word of their important conversation. I can't imagine my husband in the fitting room at Macy's with his buddies, asking "do these jeans make my butt look big?" And I can't imagine my man snuggled up on the hammock with his manly friend, coffee in hand, head on his friend's shoulder, talking about the trials of being a husband. Nope. Just not going to happen. It would be border-line creepy, now that I think about it.
Why? Is it because our husbands don't need friends? No...it's because of our tender, emotional side and hormones that allow us to be vulnerable with friends that we trust...or complete strangers. Either way.
I remember being warned that finding real friends was harder as you got older. While that may be true for some, I don't think it's true for me. The hard part, for me, is making a commitment of time to invest in others to build a friendship. I have learned that to have a friend, you must be a friend. Some friendships just happen, some take concerted effort. And I've learned to be selective about those whom I invest in... always remembering that we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with.
I have one friend who is very guarded, and she was hard to get to know; she is like a geode. Tough, like a rock on the outside...but once I got her to open up, she's a true gem. I have other friends, who are more like me - like an aquarium. Just open and willing to let everyone peer inside. Sometimes a little too transparent, but who's perfect?
I love this graphic that I saw on Facebook. You could tag an appropriate friend for each box. I was usually the "Tall Friend." Do you have a different friend for each box? Or one friend who fills them all? We need more than one friend...and we have to allow our friends to have other friends besides us. Friends who get their feelings hurt when you have other friends are probably suffering from insecurity. Pray for them! But don't let them squash you.
We need friends who are different. I'm strictly a 'glass-half-full' kind of girl... so it takes a 'glass-half-empty' friend to keep me from running dry and I keep her seeing the bright-side. Friends who have a different perspective offer valuable insight 1) because they are willing to give you an honest evaluation without passing judgment and 2) because we trust them. And a variety of friends makes any Girls Night Out much more interesting.
Having a variety of friends is like having more than one favorite coffee mug... I pick the one that matches my mood for the day. A lot of days call for my one, tried and true favorite, chipped mug that I love the most...but if that mug is in the dishwasher (she's busy today!) I can pick my Maui mug, or my NY mug... maybe even the Grandma mug... but I don't have to skip coffee because one mug needed washed.
I feel like this conversation would be rather superficial if I didn't acknowledge the fact that there are some women in the our lives that we find difficult to befriend. Women who come off as less than friendly or some may seem less than genuine, maybe she's even too friendly. I'm guessing that there's at least one woman you just don't like very well. You know who I'm talking about... you stand across the room from her at the school program, sizing her up, evaluating her shoes and hair, passing judgment.
Can I ask you to be honest for just a moment, with yourself at least...because I would bet that in most cases there's one of two things happening. 1) There's something about her that you are intimidated or threatened by, or 2) there's something about you that intimidates or threatens her. I know I can think of a couple of women who intimidate the beejeebers out of me. And it's probably all in my head.
Very often, the woman you think has it "all together" is the one who needs YOU the most. So many women who look polished and un-frazzled on the outside, are crying out for genuine friendship. We compare ourselves to what we 'see' in her... we know our faults and weaknesses, so we hold those up against her new shoes and perfect haircut...apples to oranges, girls. We have to stop.
Let's do ourselves, and that woman, a favor, and instead of judging and comparing, let's pray for her. We don't know what's really going on in her world. And if God leads you to send a note, or speak a kind word, don' miss the opportunity to be a blessing. You may never know the good that you are doing.
One more thing...when friendships fade, as they sometimes do, we can't spend too much time worrying about what happened. God brings everyone for a reason...but some for only a season. Sometimes letting go allows you to find a new blessing. Or to be a new blessing to someone else. We must be open to divine appointments. You never know when you'll meet your next new friend.
I am praying over every woman whose eyes fall across these words:
Father God, I love you with everything in me, and I am so thankful for each and every woman that has paused to seek out encouragement and I ask that you reveal to her the matchless beauty that she holds in her heart. God, I know that you created every single one of us for a purpose and we are not here on accident. Show us where you need us to go, Lord. Make us aware of opportunities to be a light in the darkness and help us to love as you love. Bring lives and hearts together, to support and encourage and bring joy to our days, for we know that we are created for such a time as this.
In the beautiful and holy name of Jesus, Amen!
Be blessed!!
Little girls need other little girls to play dolls with...teenaged girls need other teenaged girls, because quite frankly, no one else 'gets' them. (Not even their adult counterparts.) And women need women friends. Females can relate to each other in a way that males cannot. Check out this hysterical video to see what I'm talking about. When men try to act like US, they look ridiculous.
I can't imagine coming home to find my husband and his BFF floating around in the pool together, floaties tethered so that they don't miss a word of their important conversation. I can't imagine my husband in the fitting room at Macy's with his buddies, asking "do these jeans make my butt look big?" And I can't imagine my man snuggled up on the hammock with his manly friend, coffee in hand, head on his friend's shoulder, talking about the trials of being a husband. Nope. Just not going to happen. It would be border-line creepy, now that I think about it.
Why? Is it because our husbands don't need friends? No...it's because of our tender, emotional side and hormones that allow us to be vulnerable with friends that we trust...or complete strangers. Either way.
I remember being warned that finding real friends was harder as you got older. While that may be true for some, I don't think it's true for me. The hard part, for me, is making a commitment of time to invest in others to build a friendship. I have learned that to have a friend, you must be a friend. Some friendships just happen, some take concerted effort. And I've learned to be selective about those whom I invest in... always remembering that we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with.
I have one friend who is very guarded, and she was hard to get to know; she is like a geode. Tough, like a rock on the outside...but once I got her to open up, she's a true gem. I have other friends, who are more like me - like an aquarium. Just open and willing to let everyone peer inside. Sometimes a little too transparent, but who's perfect?
I love this graphic that I saw on Facebook. You could tag an appropriate friend for each box. I was usually the "Tall Friend." Do you have a different friend for each box? Or one friend who fills them all? We need more than one friend...and we have to allow our friends to have other friends besides us. Friends who get their feelings hurt when you have other friends are probably suffering from insecurity. Pray for them! But don't let them squash you.We need friends who are different. I'm strictly a 'glass-half-full' kind of girl... so it takes a 'glass-half-empty' friend to keep me from running dry and I keep her seeing the bright-side. Friends who have a different perspective offer valuable insight 1) because they are willing to give you an honest evaluation without passing judgment and 2) because we trust them. And a variety of friends makes any Girls Night Out much more interesting.
Having a variety of friends is like having more than one favorite coffee mug... I pick the one that matches my mood for the day. A lot of days call for my one, tried and true favorite, chipped mug that I love the most...but if that mug is in the dishwasher (she's busy today!) I can pick my Maui mug, or my NY mug... maybe even the Grandma mug... but I don't have to skip coffee because one mug needed washed.I feel like this conversation would be rather superficial if I didn't acknowledge the fact that there are some women in the our lives that we find difficult to befriend. Women who come off as less than friendly or some may seem less than genuine, maybe she's even too friendly. I'm guessing that there's at least one woman you just don't like very well. You know who I'm talking about... you stand across the room from her at the school program, sizing her up, evaluating her shoes and hair, passing judgment.
Can I ask you to be honest for just a moment, with yourself at least...because I would bet that in most cases there's one of two things happening. 1) There's something about her that you are intimidated or threatened by, or 2) there's something about you that intimidates or threatens her. I know I can think of a couple of women who intimidate the beejeebers out of me. And it's probably all in my head.
Very often, the woman you think has it "all together" is the one who needs YOU the most. So many women who look polished and un-frazzled on the outside, are crying out for genuine friendship. We compare ourselves to what we 'see' in her... we know our faults and weaknesses, so we hold those up against her new shoes and perfect haircut...apples to oranges, girls. We have to stop.
Let's do ourselves, and that woman, a favor, and instead of judging and comparing, let's pray for her. We don't know what's really going on in her world. And if God leads you to send a note, or speak a kind word, don' miss the opportunity to be a blessing. You may never know the good that you are doing.
One more thing...when friendships fade, as they sometimes do, we can't spend too much time worrying about what happened. God brings everyone for a reason...but some for only a season. Sometimes letting go allows you to find a new blessing. Or to be a new blessing to someone else. We must be open to divine appointments. You never know when you'll meet your next new friend.
I am praying over every woman whose eyes fall across these words:
Father God, I love you with everything in me, and I am so thankful for each and every woman that has paused to seek out encouragement and I ask that you reveal to her the matchless beauty that she holds in her heart. God, I know that you created every single one of us for a purpose and we are not here on accident. Show us where you need us to go, Lord. Make us aware of opportunities to be a light in the darkness and help us to love as you love. Bring lives and hearts together, to support and encourage and bring joy to our days, for we know that we are created for such a time as this.
In the beautiful and holy name of Jesus, Amen!
Be blessed!!
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