Stop This Train!
I had a great conversation with my dad today, which sadly, I don't do nearly often enough. We chatted about the usual stuff: my kids, Randy, my dad's health, football...and then he asked me what I was doing these days.
It's a fair question. Everyone asks. It's almost as cliché as "Hi, how are you?" The next layer in rote conversation. "What have you been up to." Standard answers vary from, "not much" to "keeping busy." Aren't we all? Keeping busy, that is.
"What am I doing these days? Well, I have put my real estate license into referral status and sold off my share of the business. I have shifted gears after a whirlwind year with Mary Kay. I am blogging and trying to focus on what God has called me to do. I'm trying to be the best wife and mother I can be."
I heard the words come out of my mouth...I'd never said them before. I'm trying to be the best wife and mother... Today, that would appear to be the case. Homemade bread. Gourmet soup in the crock pot. And another batch of Peanut Butter Energy Bites in the fridge. I am Holly Homemaker Extraordinaire. Today, anyway.
I hadn't thought about it until this conversation with my dad. Maybe I am trying to savor these last few months with my youngest son. Maybe I am trying to hang on for dear life to each moment he gives me, because come March, 2015, when he gets his driver's license, I have a feeling these moments will be very few and far between. At least they were with the older kids.
The older kids...oh my. How did I let six of them get out the door without realizing the eternal value of these moments? I know how...there was still a house-full of siblings vying for attention. Everyone had their own drama. Everyone had needs. Everyone had problems. Homework. Dinner. Show-choir competition. Races. Friends. Laundry. Doctors appointments. Heart breaks. Gift exchanges. Conferences. And my world was spinning wildly out of control.
Imagine being on a high-speed train for ten years, going 150 miles per hour... you can see far-away sites out the window (the 'big picture' stuff) but the events of everyday, the stuff happening right out side the window of this speeding capsule, are a mere blur. Those things whiz by so fast that looking too closely will make your stomach churn.
As the proverbial crazy-train has slowed to a manageable pace, I am able to see what I was missing. Someday I hope to ride that slow train...the old fashioned one that chugs along, allowing passengers to take in the beauty of the world as it winds around curves and across deep gorges, but right now, I'm somewhere in between the crazy train and the slow train. I guess I'd compare it to the Amtrak service that carries folks from Indy to Chicago. Slightly faster than a car, but certainly not high-speed.
I see the sights more clearly now and I can enjoy most of the things that seemed to go by in a flash before. I can also see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know this parenting journey is almost over and I'm about to be all-aboard the Gammie Train. But today I am relishing the time spent sitting beside this young man at the bank as he opened his first checking account. I love hearing the changing of his voice. I treasure the hugs. The laughter. The weirdness that comes with sixteen.
One thing I feel compelled to do is to offer a public apology to my older children. The ones who didn't get all this one-on-one time, the new shoes every three months, the dedicated parents who show up to every race, the smothering worry that my forever-baby gets. But what he's missing is the priceless late-night conversations with a sibling, the shenanigans and pranks, the valuable skill of conflict resolution. He's missing all that because he's suddenly an only child. I'm not sure who really got the short-end of the stick on this deal, him or the older kids. They had each other.. He has me.
Our home was loud and chaotic. Fun and filthy. Now it's so quiet I can hear my cat breathing. And for the most part it stays pretty tidy...because when it doesn't, there's only one person to blame.
Everyone warned me that 'those kids will be grown and gone before you know it!' And they were right. So in a last-ditch effort to salvage my motherly pride, I am holding on tightly, knowing there are no do-overs in life. Thankful for each day, because I have learned something new. Because I am a better mom now. Finally.
My advice to you new moms (especially my younger sister) is to not even buy a ticket for the crazy train. Set boundaries. Make your family a priority, not your child's social calendar. Kids don't have to play every sport or take every lesson. They'll be ok. They just need to spend time watching and learning beside you. Take time for yourself. And before life starts to get crazy...talk to God about it. He'll keep you on the right track.
Be blessed!
It's a fair question. Everyone asks. It's almost as cliché as "Hi, how are you?" The next layer in rote conversation. "What have you been up to." Standard answers vary from, "not much" to "keeping busy." Aren't we all? Keeping busy, that is.
"What am I doing these days? Well, I have put my real estate license into referral status and sold off my share of the business. I have shifted gears after a whirlwind year with Mary Kay. I am blogging and trying to focus on what God has called me to do. I'm trying to be the best wife and mother I can be."
I heard the words come out of my mouth...I'd never said them before. I'm trying to be the best wife and mother... Today, that would appear to be the case. Homemade bread. Gourmet soup in the crock pot. And another batch of Peanut Butter Energy Bites in the fridge. I am Holly Homemaker Extraordinaire. Today, anyway.
I hadn't thought about it until this conversation with my dad. Maybe I am trying to savor these last few months with my youngest son. Maybe I am trying to hang on for dear life to each moment he gives me, because come March, 2015, when he gets his driver's license, I have a feeling these moments will be very few and far between. At least they were with the older kids.
The older kids...oh my. How did I let six of them get out the door without realizing the eternal value of these moments? I know how...there was still a house-full of siblings vying for attention. Everyone had their own drama. Everyone had needs. Everyone had problems. Homework. Dinner. Show-choir competition. Races. Friends. Laundry. Doctors appointments. Heart breaks. Gift exchanges. Conferences. And my world was spinning wildly out of control.
Imagine being on a high-speed train for ten years, going 150 miles per hour... you can see far-away sites out the window (the 'big picture' stuff) but the events of everyday, the stuff happening right out side the window of this speeding capsule, are a mere blur. Those things whiz by so fast that looking too closely will make your stomach churn.As the proverbial crazy-train has slowed to a manageable pace, I am able to see what I was missing. Someday I hope to ride that slow train...the old fashioned one that chugs along, allowing passengers to take in the beauty of the world as it winds around curves and across deep gorges, but right now, I'm somewhere in between the crazy train and the slow train. I guess I'd compare it to the Amtrak service that carries folks from Indy to Chicago. Slightly faster than a car, but certainly not high-speed.
I see the sights more clearly now and I can enjoy most of the things that seemed to go by in a flash before. I can also see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know this parenting journey is almost over and I'm about to be all-aboard the Gammie Train. But today I am relishing the time spent sitting beside this young man at the bank as he opened his first checking account. I love hearing the changing of his voice. I treasure the hugs. The laughter. The weirdness that comes with sixteen.
One thing I feel compelled to do is to offer a public apology to my older children. The ones who didn't get all this one-on-one time, the new shoes every three months, the dedicated parents who show up to every race, the smothering worry that my forever-baby gets. But what he's missing is the priceless late-night conversations with a sibling, the shenanigans and pranks, the valuable skill of conflict resolution. He's missing all that because he's suddenly an only child. I'm not sure who really got the short-end of the stick on this deal, him or the older kids. They had each other.. He has me.
Our home was loud and chaotic. Fun and filthy. Now it's so quiet I can hear my cat breathing. And for the most part it stays pretty tidy...because when it doesn't, there's only one person to blame.
Everyone warned me that 'those kids will be grown and gone before you know it!' And they were right. So in a last-ditch effort to salvage my motherly pride, I am holding on tightly, knowing there are no do-overs in life. Thankful for each day, because I have learned something new. Because I am a better mom now. Finally.
My advice to you new moms (especially my younger sister) is to not even buy a ticket for the crazy train. Set boundaries. Make your family a priority, not your child's social calendar. Kids don't have to play every sport or take every lesson. They'll be ok. They just need to spend time watching and learning beside you. Take time for yourself. And before life starts to get crazy...talk to God about it. He'll keep you on the right track.
Be blessed!
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