A Labor of Love
I looked up the word labor in the dictionary:
Everyone told me that childbirth would be the worst pain I would ever forget. They were mostly right. I've forgotten how it physically felt, but I will never forget the experience.
But what I want to focus on today is a different kind of labor. It's still physical or mental work, especially of a hard or fatiguing kind...the labor of love in a marriage. I was reminded of this as I worked through my current Bible study yesterday. In 1 Thessalonians 1:3 when Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica and commends them for their labor prompted by love.
First things first, though, I want to make sure everyone is on the same page about what love is. It might be easier to define it by what it's NOT. It's not that giddy feeling when he looks at you for the first time. It's not the catch in your breath when you see him on his tractor...though I do think my husband's tractor is sexy. :) In the words of the pop band, Maroon 5, "it's not always rainbows and butterflies."
Love is a decision to stick it out during the tough stuff... like the sickness and poorer part. When your husband is less than 'lovable'. When he's driving you crazy. It's laborious! Love is smiling when you want to burn holes in his head with your stare, biting your tongue when you want to lash out, conceding to let him be right...again. It's being kind to his family. It's following him through Home Depot for hours. It's washing his BVDs, picking up his dirty dishes, and watching Gold Rush reruns until you're blue in the face.
It's forgiving him for messing up the bed you just made, or for forgetting your birthday or anniversary. Or when he has to be out of town on Valentine's Day. And trust me, if you can't forgive him for the trivial things you can forget it when a biggie comes along.
Love prompts us to work hard at marriage. And if anyone ever said that marriage is easy - I say Bah Humbug! They're lying! There are times during the month (thank you 'mother nature') during which it feels harder for me to be loving towards my husband. He's not doing anything differently, but I am feeling differently during those times. It took me a few months (ok, years...) to figure out it was my problem and not his. But what I thought was cute or funny last week, this week makes me shake my head and think not so nice thoughts, reminding myself that love is patient and kind, and blah, blah, blah. I finally resort to praying, "Ok God...if I can't keep my mouth under control myself, I pray you'll make me lose my voice for the next few days." So far, so good.
This morning I had to work (labor) to overcome my flesh and show love to my husband. As I was sitting quietly, having my morning prayer time, he poked his head out of the bedroom door as yells, "Coffee!!" I paused. Inhaled deeply. Are you kidding me? Can't you get it yourself?? And God reminded me to take a good look at myself. Am I ever unlovable? Me? Whaaaaat? Hmph. Ok, ok...I get it. Off to the kitchen I went. "Come on God, let's go make coffee."
I started to reflect on times when I've been so very less than lovable. Ouch. That stings. But then I realized how lucky I am that my husband seems to have this 'love thing' down pretty well. He typically doesn't call me out on my "less that sweet" disposition or point out my unlovable behavior, though I'm sure I've given him plenty of opportunities. I'm sure he looks at me some days and wonders who this evil woman is that has showed up in place of his wife. And right then the strangest thing happened...I loved him more for it.
True love may be the hardest labor you ever endure, just look what it did to Jesus. Thank God, we haven't been asked to demonstrate our love for our husbands the same way Christ did for us. He suffered. He died. I just have to get through the day. That should feel like a cake walk now, shouldn't it?
Be blessed!
"physical or mental work, especially of a hard or fatiguing kind; toil."That's what I expected. That's probably what most people think of when they think of labor. Especially mothers. We nod our heads, and think of childbirth. Laboring for hours...sweating, panting, pushing, moaning, maybe cursing...hard work. But oh, so worth it.
Everyone told me that childbirth would be the worst pain I would ever forget. They were mostly right. I've forgotten how it physically felt, but I will never forget the experience.
But what I want to focus on today is a different kind of labor. It's still physical or mental work, especially of a hard or fatiguing kind...the labor of love in a marriage. I was reminded of this as I worked through my current Bible study yesterday. In 1 Thessalonians 1:3 when Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica and commends them for their labor prompted by love.
First things first, though, I want to make sure everyone is on the same page about what love is. It might be easier to define it by what it's NOT. It's not that giddy feeling when he looks at you for the first time. It's not the catch in your breath when you see him on his tractor...though I do think my husband's tractor is sexy. :) In the words of the pop band, Maroon 5, "it's not always rainbows and butterflies."Love is a decision to stick it out during the tough stuff... like the sickness and poorer part. When your husband is less than 'lovable'. When he's driving you crazy. It's laborious! Love is smiling when you want to burn holes in his head with your stare, biting your tongue when you want to lash out, conceding to let him be right...again. It's being kind to his family. It's following him through Home Depot for hours. It's washing his BVDs, picking up his dirty dishes, and watching Gold Rush reruns until you're blue in the face.
It's forgiving him for messing up the bed you just made, or for forgetting your birthday or anniversary. Or when he has to be out of town on Valentine's Day. And trust me, if you can't forgive him for the trivial things you can forget it when a biggie comes along.
Love prompts us to work hard at marriage. And if anyone ever said that marriage is easy - I say Bah Humbug! They're lying! There are times during the month (thank you 'mother nature') during which it feels harder for me to be loving towards my husband. He's not doing anything differently, but I am feeling differently during those times. It took me a few months (ok, years...) to figure out it was my problem and not his. But what I thought was cute or funny last week, this week makes me shake my head and think not so nice thoughts, reminding myself that love is patient and kind, and blah, blah, blah. I finally resort to praying, "Ok God...if I can't keep my mouth under control myself, I pray you'll make me lose my voice for the next few days." So far, so good.
This morning I had to work (labor) to overcome my flesh and show love to my husband. As I was sitting quietly, having my morning prayer time, he poked his head out of the bedroom door as yells, "Coffee!!" I paused. Inhaled deeply. Are you kidding me? Can't you get it yourself?? And God reminded me to take a good look at myself. Am I ever unlovable? Me? Whaaaaat? Hmph. Ok, ok...I get it. Off to the kitchen I went. "Come on God, let's go make coffee."
I started to reflect on times when I've been so very less than lovable. Ouch. That stings. But then I realized how lucky I am that my husband seems to have this 'love thing' down pretty well. He typically doesn't call me out on my "less that sweet" disposition or point out my unlovable behavior, though I'm sure I've given him plenty of opportunities. I'm sure he looks at me some days and wonders who this evil woman is that has showed up in place of his wife. And right then the strangest thing happened...I loved him more for it.
True love may be the hardest labor you ever endure, just look what it did to Jesus. Thank God, we haven't been asked to demonstrate our love for our husbands the same way Christ did for us. He suffered. He died. I just have to get through the day. That should feel like a cake walk now, shouldn't it?
Be blessed!
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