The Titus 2:4 Project

I haven't posted in a few days.  If you know me very well, you might have wondered if everything was ok with me.  If you're one of the few who care about me, you might have actually worried a bit. What does silence sound like?  For me it's a ringing in my ears.  And the sound of the ringing gets louder and louder, until it becomes deafening. Many years ago, Randy and I went to Mammoth Cave National Park.   As we toured a huge cave, the guide shared a story about a man who had gotten separated from his group.  In the darkness as he crawled around in the cave, unable to see his own hand in front of his face, he found two rocks and began banging them together.   When the rescuers finally found him, they commended him for his brilliance in banging the rocks together so that they could find him.  He said, "I didn't bang the rocks together so you would find me.  I did it because the sound of silence was driving me crazy. " Indeed, silence can drive us crazy. As

One of the gifts that God has given me, is the gift of empathy, and the ability to express, through words, other people's thoughts or feelings.  I used to write 'by request' poetry for customized birthday invitations, birth announcements, funerals and any other time a person would share their heart with me and ask me to write for them.  It was always such an honor to share this gift and see how powerfully others were affected by it.  One such instance, was a poem I wrote for a girlfriend back in 1994, who was going through the painful, emotional post-abortion healing process.  After talking with her for hours and crying with her and praying for her, God gave me a beautiful poem that literally took just minutes to put on paper.  I know my friend isn't alone in her pain.  I have had many friends share their guilt and shame with me over the years regarding this same issue.  My prayer is that if you are one of the many women suffering in silence, you will find comfort

Every spring, my husband takes me flower shopping.  We stroll through the local greenhouse, picking containers of this and that...whatever looks pretty.  They all cost the same...just fill a flat for $10.  Mostly annuals.  I like to plant a variety of colorful annuals in my flower beds and one special corner by the stairs to the front porch.  When they're first planted, they are small and fragile and some seem to get a bit withered by the abrupt introduction to natural sunlight.  Some thrive right away, spreading out and bursting forth with color, while others make slow, steady progress, until finally they blossom in rich hues of gold, yellow, red and purple.  By this time of year, my flower beds are crowded and colorful.  Occasionally, I will put several flowers in large pots and set them around the deck or patio.  A nice variety of color that no garden club president would ever imagine putting together.  But it looks nice to my layman's eye.  But why is it that sometime

We've officially made it!  17 years under our belt as a second-marriage, all-odds-against-us couple.  I will tell you that it was no easy feat.  Hence the reason I waited until today to post this - had to make sure we made it all the way through the 6,205th day.  As dawn broke this morning, I breathed a sigh of relief. Lots of things, statistically, were against us.  Six, in particular.  Three his, three mine.  Blending a family is never easy.  But everyone who knew us thought is was so cute that we were "just like the Brady Bunch."  Not exactly.  I had no Alice...instead we added another child (the "Ours" baby) and every episode didn't end in smiling faces.  When people ask me, "How did you manage?" They usually ask with a look of utter disbelief on their faces.  My answer is (and shall always be) the same.  Only by the grace of God.  And I am not kidding.  So how did we successfully survive these past 17 years?  Well, there's no 'se

How do we keep from getting our feelings hurt when someone we love is being difficult? Yes, it's true.  My husband can be a bit grumpy when he's tired, hungry, hurting or bored.  When any two or more of these things occur at the same time, he can be a real bear.  Not the cute, cuddly kind, either.  More like big, hairy, sharp-toothed, standing on two hind legs, growling and foaming at the mouth kind.  Well, maybe that's a slight exaggeration,  but not by much. And why does it seem that his ill feelings end up falling on me like a deluge?  Is it because he's angry at me?  Did I do something wrong?  Or not do something right? 99 times in 100, it has nothing to do with me personally. I just happen to be the one close by.  Since he had surgery on a badly broken elbow this week, he's been experiencing several of his bear - inducing feelings.   And, naturally,  since I'm the only one here with him (15 year olds hiding out in a bedroom playing Xbox do not count) he

The first box is now open.  A thick layer of dust had collected over the lid like a scab on an old wound.  The contents are now exposed to the first light it has seen in years.   2 Samuel 22:29 says "You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light." So, let Your light shine, God.  Shine on me.  Expose this darkness. Sometimes Satan uses invisible shackles to bind us up.  Shackles we don't even know are there, until God exposes the work of the enemy and in the light of His glory, He sets us free!  I didn't know that this was holding me back.  Until Sunday.  When I saw the sister of a man who had wronged me.  Seeing her face - one I hadn't seen in years - caused me to dig far back into my memory...where did I know her from??  Her last name had changed, her face had aged...but I knew that I knew her... When I finally pieced it all together, I was nearly knocked off my feet.  I knew immediately that this was no accident.  No...indeed, this was

I did it!  Today I learned how to drive the John Deere!  As I drove up and down the field, leaving row after row of cut grass in my wake, I felt strong.  I felt like there was nothing I couldn't do.  I even considered tackling my husband's broken down diesel truck, parked in the driveway.  If it hadn't been for the streaming sounds of my contemporary Christian station on Pandora filling my ears, I'm certain I would have been hearing the Katy Perry song, "Roar" inside my head.  I love to cut grass.  On the riding lawn mower, at least.  We cut approximately 15-17 acres of grass at our place, week after week after week...all summer long.  The whole process takes at least two full days, sometimes three.  And when rain messes up the routine, it can take even longer.  We have a system that has been working for a few years now, since all but one of the kids have left home.  I cut 60% of the grass with the riding mower - because I can maneuver easily around those hu

One thing I've never been accused of being (at least to my face) is a drama queen.  I just don't do  drama.  Never have.  Never will. I remember sitting in my office one day, listening to a couple of co-workers talk about how much drama some people have in their lives.  I chimed in, "I don't have any drama in my life." One of the girls stared at me, mouth open, eyebrows raised. "What?" I asked her.  Her reply gave me something to think about for many days to come.  "You have more drama than anyone else I know!" I did a mental rundown: One daughter married and divorced and just miscarried a precious baby; another daughter with more financial woes than I can talk about; another daughter was unmarried with a young child; a son in the military - possibly would be deploying soon; another son in jail; a son who at 17 just found out he was a father; and (thank you, Jesus!) a son who was content being trouble-free. I didn't see any d

Today has been a good day.  I took my youngest son, Caleb,  kayaking.   He's done it many times, but me, I was a novice.   Not new to the creek, just the kayak.  I loved it! Caleb was very patient with me and I enjoyed hearing the excitement in his voice as he watched "huge" fish dart around beneath us.  He assured me that if he had been in a tube just then, he would have grabbed that fish right out of the water.  The highlight of my day was when he actually let me take a 'selfie' with him. That's a rarity.  His only comment was ,  "make sure you use the best one."  He failed to say of whom, so naturally it will be the one most flattering to me!  We laughed.  We chatted.  We sat in awe of the beautiful surroundings.  And I soaked him up, like the last drops of a cool glass of water in the hand of a desert nomad.  I tried to study him.  His features, growing more and more manly every day.  His half-grin.  His broad shoulders.   His trucker hat, s

Oh my gracious!  I am so excited... I found a NEW book in the Bible today!!  Let me explain... I've been feeling a little stagnant lately...like the icky pond in my front yard - yeah...just like that.  And when you feel that way and you KNOW that you feel that way, it's so frustrating.  It's like having a third-person view of your own life...almost like watching a movie of yourself; and you can see yourself slipping, sliding, falling away from where you want to be.  Or like watching yourself turn left when Jesus kept going straight ahead.  It's more frustrating than trying to tie your shoes with one hand.  Pretty soon, you just want to throw your hands up and scream. So I've been watching this happen for a few days - and I really think that the ability to recognize this process is a sign of maturity, so I praise God for it.  But today, I had finally had enough.  I was determined to claw my way back up the mountain, through the mud and back to the place where J

  My days are filled with many things I need to do.   Most of those things are boring, tedious chores that must be done on a regular basis, some daily, like dishes, laundry, and sweeping the floor, feeding the dogs...   Some things need to be done only once a week, and there are some things that only come up once a month or less, like flushing the packet of yeast down the toilet (it keeps the septic tank clean—no kidding) or doing the taxes (thank God!)   But then there are the things that go on my To-Do list that are a one-time task, but they are important.   Today’s list was made up of things like:        - order prescription refill - send card to Mom - call about lost driver's permit - reschedule dentist appointment    I love the feeling of crossing things off as I go; it gives me a sense of accomplishment, one step closer to my goal.   And quite often, if I did something that wasn't even on my list, I will add it so I can cross it off.  It's a boost to my sense

It's time again for the, ummm, let's see...maybe the 10th annual Ringis Fourth of July Bash.  It just sort of happened; We became the ones that 'always' have the party on the 4th.  Or whatever Saturday happened to be closest to it.  This year we are celebrating the 4th on the 4th.  Novel, huh? My husband loves to entertain as much as I do.  Especially when it's an outside shin-dig.  He takes his role very seriously.  So seriously, in fact, that he drives me a little insane.  Cutting grass all over the property, even in the pastures far from the house, he wants the grass well manicured.  He wants me to trim around the little Walnut saplings that are so far from the house that I'm certain no one can see them...and even if they could - or did - I'm certain they wouldn't give two rips whether or not the grass around the tree was cut precisely.  I spend a lot of time rolling my eyes during the days leading up to our party. Randy walks off  a 100-yard foot

I love my sleep.  I enjoy sleeping...curled up in my silky 600-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and that delicious, fuzzy blanket that our oldest daughter gave us for Christmas many years ago.  The memory foam pillow and mattress, atop an adjustable (read 'old people,' according to my little brother) base.  Oh, glorious sleep... My favorite time of day is bedtime.  So now you can understand why my lofty goal of getting up 'early' every day can be so difficult for me.  I even made that catchy song, Happy, my alarm tone.   That's a good way to take a song you used to enjoy and make yourself hate the first two seconds of it.   But I really want to get up earlier.  Because I know myself and my situation well enough to know that if I don't, I will miss my quiet time with God and my day will fall miserably short of what God intended for it to be. You wanna know why I didn't blog yesterday?  Yep.  You guessed it.  I didn't get up early.  I got up when my

Have you ever seen a pond covered with thick, green, gross-looking algae?  It's not very pretty.  You try to go fishing and by the time you reel in your line, you have a six-foot long piece of yuck hanging from the hook.  Sans fish.  We have man-made pond in our front yard, about a half an acre or so.  There was a creek running through our yard and we just had it 'expanded.'  We added a sand area for bon fires and a small L-shaped dock.  We have spent many a summer night sitting around the fire, visiting with friends while roasting marshmallows and catching catfish. This year it seems like there's been a lot of that green gunk floating on top, which makes fishing nearly impossible, thus hampering our enjoyment.  It looks stagnant, even though the flow of water rarely stops completely.  But after the weather we've endured over the past 24 hours, the pond is looking much, much better.  The surface is clear and inviting.  I am anxious to walk down and spend a few m