Braver. Stronger. Smarter.

I did it!  Today I learned how to drive the John Deere!  As I drove up and down the field, leaving row after row of cut grass in my wake, I felt strong.  I felt like there was nothing I couldn't do.  I even considered tackling my husband's broken down diesel truck, parked in the driveway.  If it hadn't been for the streaming sounds of my contemporary Christian station on Pandora filling my ears, I'm certain I would have been hearing the Katy Perry song, "Roar" inside my head. 

I love to cut grass.  On the riding lawn mower, at least.  We cut approximately 15-17 acres of grass at our place, week after week after week...all summer long.  The whole process takes at least two full days, sometimes three.  And when rain messes up the routine, it can take even longer.  We have a system that has been working for a few years now, since all but one of the kids have left home.  I cut 60% of the grass with the riding mower - because I can maneuver easily around those hundreds of little trees my husband is so intent on saving...and he cuts the other 40% on the tractor. 

His 40% includes the wide-open pastures.  No shade.  Very bumpy.  Boring.  I perceived that his job was more difficult than mine.  He sure made it appear to be, anyway.   Until the fateful football game of July 4th...you know, the one when he broke his elbow.  Yes, that one... surgery is tomorrow.

His broken elbow has left him unable to use his left hand and arm.  It's been in a splint for over a week now.  He's been in increasing pain and is really looking forward to tomorrow.  He's ready to get the injury fixed and move forward.  But in the meanwhile, he can't gut grass - either on the riding mower or the tractor.  So, guess who (me!) got her first lesson on the big, green tractor today?

My husband, who is not normally a very patient man, took extra time in explaining each lever and what it did.  He explained the clutch and the brake and how the transmission worked.  All I had to do was let off on the clutch 'real easy' and stay in second gear.  The throttle could be adjusted up or down.  One lever raised the mower deck, another engaged the blades.  "Be careful not to touch this thing while it's running...that's how our neighbor died."  I stared at him in disbelief. 

The fuel tank was filled.  Water in the radiator (which leaks, so keep an eye on this gauge.)  My 'sippy cup' was filled and headphones in. Off I went. 

All I can say, is that I'm on to his game.  And when he's healed up...HE'S cutting the 60% off the yard with the riding mower.  This was a cake walk.  I sang along with Casting Crowns and Third Day and many other Christian artists.  I chatted with God about the incoming storm and when I should stop cutting and head for the house...It was rather relaxing.  I enjoyed it.

As I rode along, I prayed and talked to God about the boxes tucked away in the closet of my heart.  About which ones we were going to tackle first. (See yesterday's blog post if you don't know what I'm referring to.)   Yesterday, He started to lift the lid on one that had been stuffed so far in the back of my heart that I had almost forgotten about it.  Until I saw one familiar face and church yesterday.  A face that made me strain my memory to figure out how I knew her...then the memories started to unravel...and I felt the first surge of discomfort, as God was asking me to let Him in to heal this wound. 

While I was riding along on the tractor, God instructed me to make a list of all the boxes I could think of as soon as I got back in the house.  So I did.  And what I thought would be a short list, got longer and longer.  And longer.  I began to worry that I wouldn't be able to deal with all of this.  And God assured me that we would work on them, one at a time.  Because I am ready.  And suddenly I heard a voice...not the voice of God, but the voice of Christopher Robin, telling his buddy, Pooh:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”   (A.A. Milne)

It reminded me of what God says to us in Isaiah 41:10, where we read, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."   and in Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."

If there's every a tomorrow when He's not with us - He is here in Spirit.  And we can be brave (without fear) because when I am weak, He is strong.  And all we need to do is seek His wisdom.  We too will be braver, stronger, smarter through the Spirit of God.

I am braver today.  Not just because I learned a new skill on the farm, but because I know that God is with me.  And with His help there's nothing I can't do. (Phil. 4:13).  I am ready to tackle the first box in my closet. 

Now I get it...the reason God brought the storm - to get me to stop what I was doing and get to work on this healing work He wants to do.  So here we go... I'm going to blow the dust off the lid and lay it out before Him. 

Braver.  Stronger.  Smarter.  As long as He is with me.

Be blessed.





 




















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